Commitment anxiety means not letting a person into your heart because it’s very scary and you could start losing control of yourself.
People with fear of attachment or avoidance cheat more often because they want to be disconnected from the heart of the other person.
They are always looking for excuses.
While if you have separation anxiety you lose yourself completely in the other because you are completely absorbed in love and in the fantasy that everything is so beautiful, but when you fall from the pink cloud you get the inner critic on your roof who will tell everything what is and is not right with your partner, it can happen that you start to distance yourself from your partner and if your partner distances itself from you then you are again afraid of losing him and so you keep going.
There are also relationships where both of you have a fear of commitment.
Those are often the superficial relationships that don’t interact much with each other and everyone lives their own life in a relationship and that’s fine too.
When two separation sufferers are together there are very high peaks and deep valleys of emotions, such as being madly in love but also having terrible fights, the inner critic makes sure that you stay focused on the negative experience from the past.
I know from experience with the thousands of people I speak to that at the beginning of a relationship you already know where you stand, but if you don’t listen to your intuition carefully, you will fall back into an old belief, shock and drama from the past and you will again ask for the attention of a partner who is not worth your time (or from ex partners) because you have also known and recognise the trauma in which you have developed a safety not to feel the pain from your educators or parents.
You can tell quickly enough from a partner whether he likes you or not, you don’t have to convince anyone, a fact is a fact!
All those seekers who keep looking for a relationship where it’s never good enough, are all looking for themselves, all those cheaters don’t come close enough to their hearts and constantly look for fulfillment and attention from someone else even though they are in a permanent relationship.
They need constant confirmation that they are wanted and in demand with regard to lust. In a way, that gives them confidence.
If you notice that a man or woman does not like you enough, it often has nothing to do with YOU.
It’s the frequency that doesn’t fit.
The person is totally not in line with your wishes and future dreams, they distance themselves from that.
They are not used to the feeling of stability if you want stability in your life, they find it scary and they feel tightness, they are not ready for it yet.
Therefore, let them go, don’t go after them and make sure you don’t fall back into a trauma of old experiences and let them go when you notice that you don’t get a feeling of dignity from them.
It is best to speak out to the person what you would like in a relationship and if that person still reacts doubtfully to that (if you are in a long term relationship) then that person has fear of commitment and is not ready for it and not grown spiritually.
Especially women may think that men do not find them beautiful enough that they therefore prefer to choose another woman, but in 98% of these situations it is really the case that the man or woman is not on the same frequency at all and therefore chooses the stereo type where the one who feels the safest and that is to choose the type that really comes very close to 1 or both characters of the parents.
You seek your safety with which you are familiar.
For some people, security is not what we understand by being safe from the enemy.
If you have been treated badly, you long for a loving person, but if your focus is still on the sadness and anger and that you did not receive the right loving attention but got slapped, it is also possible that you get every time an aggressive and / or attracts a narcissistic person.
Never think that you will never find the partner of your dreams again, that is only based on future fear and an old trauma what someone else thinks about you and maybe that was once said to you.
Don’t do this to yourself and learn to treat yourself with love.
I hope this spiritual news has given you more insight!
If you want to know more about this or if you need insight into how you can break through your patterns, please contact us and we will find the right approach that suits you.
Much love, strength and light,
Anika and Michele